


Of Dubious and Feline Memory

by HolmesianDeduction



Category: Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011), Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy - All Media Types, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy - John Le Carré
Genre: Bill Haydon - Freeform, Loss, M/M, Memories, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-24
Updated: 2012-10-24
Packaged: 2017-11-16 23:41:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/545100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HolmesianDeduction/pseuds/HolmesianDeduction
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The simple truth of it was that Jim Prideaux could not remember a time before Bill.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Dubious and Feline Memory

             The simple truth of it was that Jim Prideaux could not remember a time before Bill.  He could give a history, as detailed as necessary, of his childhood, of his schooling abroad, of his adolescence, but all of these things were simply details belonging to a shapeless time period labelled simply “Before Bill.”  If asked to give a biography, he might begin, not with his birth, but in a crowded room at Oxford, where he was approached by a man with a slightly lop-sided grin and a disarmingly friendly way of speaking, who coaxed him back to his rooms only to drink more than enough for the both of them and curl against his side like an oversized cat as they talked.

             Over time, while the drinking marathon rarely made a reappearance, Bill’s tendency towards reclining against him, head resting upturned against his ribs remained, becoming something of a permanent fixture in Jim’s life - something to be relied upon, missed when they were apart, but always with the knowledge that the cat would always come sauntering back at the end of the night or week or however long they were apart.  It was understood between them, that this was how it was to be.  Jim lived for the Circus - for England more than the Service - and for Bill.  Bill lived for - whatever it was that Bill lived for, Jim supposed - probably for himself, and Jim never begrudged him that.  Begrudging Bill his habits was like being angry at a cat for leaving birds on your doorstep - pointless.

             But then Bill was gone, left on a bench in the cold, all nine lives spent, and gone with them the last vestiges of an anchor.  The Circus didn’t want him, England was, as always, indifferent, and Bill was gone.  That left only Jim Prideaux.  Jim Prideaux who took two Czech bullets in the back for the Service.  Jim Prideaux who always knew the truth, but buried it where no one would ever find it, even his own sense of loyalty.  Jim Prideaux, now alone; a French teacher at a boarding school who lived in a caravan.  Who often couldn’t sleep at night and who was, even as he went about his business as usual, shaken by the knowledge that this time, the cat was never coming back.


End file.
